Stop asking me to trust
you while I’m still coughing
up water from the last time
you let me drown.
The blood mothers lose always comes back
Her life was passed into my sponge-like membrane. Steam filled the air. As she smacked my back, I coughed ashes out. “Make no mistakes. That’s your gas pedal. Go.” Scared out of my mind as to what life even is, I tried to blow some of her back. Blowing ashes from my insides, she brushed off those unwanted parts that might have that itty bitty sense of self-hope. Her life wasn’t lost by chance, her life was lost in a sea of excuses of what her eggs would give her— a daughter just like her. A new beginning full of desperation to fill her nafs and my wonder years; ours shared.
I guess I was never a full me, a waning moon waiting to reach the new. But that’s where I was wrong. Waiting did nothing for her and it wouldn’t for me. So goes the story of why I crashed my urn of a spirit to start anew.
*Nafs is Arabic for Self or Ego.
Somedays, I feel the blessed olive trees burning inside of me. With cries for guidance, I set them aflame. They send me messages to remind me holiness, not hollowness, is right inside of me.
There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.
مَا لَكُمْ لَا تَنَاصَرُونَ؟
"What is wrong with you? Why do you not help each other?"
For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over again.
might make them angry
it will make you free.
If you consider a woman less pure after you’ve touched her, maybe you should take a look at your hands.
We need to understand that a girl is as much a human being as a male or a son, and it is essential that we nurture her humanness in a way which does not oppress her spirit, and which does not make her feel that her conduct is always suspect, or that she must always defend her behavior every moment or in every situation-as if she were besieged by others’ observations.
Don’t apologize when you get “carried away.” Your audience is lucky enough to witness a moment of emotional authenticity in a human so overwhelmed by passion that they don’t confine themselves just to fit in or be polite.